PANIC

Okay….so now that I have gotten past the initial thrill of getting this wonderful position, and being accepted not only by the Minnesota Reading Corps, but from the public school staff as well, panic has officially begun to set in. How am I going to handle working full-time, taking classes part-time, be a good mom, take care of the house, keep everyone fed and clothed and fairly clean, but most of all….how am I going to leave my baby?!?!?

When I agreed to this it somehow seemed so far away; next school year. We always refer to it as “next year,” and this school year hasn’t even ended yet. But next year doesn’t seem so far away when you realize that preparation for it begins in less than three months! My little guy is still breastfeeding exclusively (thanks to a formula allergy) and is heavily dependent on Mama….as he should be. I can’t help but have this conflicting feeling of doubt nagging me about whether or not I am doing the right thing.

Yet I know that I not only want to do this, but essentially I need it as well. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s more than I’m making now (nothing), and I could really use a confidence booster. This is something I can feel really proud of and it is certainly worthwhile. I also know that my husband and I cannot do the opposite shift thing again; it’s so hard on our relationship! I just hope that I can come to terms with the guilt before too long. I just need to figure out our daycare situation and have everything set up to the utmost degree of certainty before my start date looms much closer. Hopefully then I will feel prepared.

But even despite all this heavy guilt (and fear), I still feel twinges of excitement when I think of the year to come….wish me luck!

Exciting News

 I am very excited to announce that I will be working, or rather volunteering, as a literacy tutor for the Minnesota Reading Corps this coming school year! This is such an amazing opportunity that I just kind of stumbled upon…apparently that is how I find my best positions. I will be working one-on-one with Kindergarten through third-graders on their reading skills to help get them up to grade level. It is called a volunteer position, but there are so many great benefits; a living stipend to help with bills, tuition reimbursement at the end of the term, which is 11 months, and I also qualify for daycare assistance so I don’t have to worry about that! On top of all these wonderful bonuses, I will be at the same school my daughters are at!  So every day when I go to work, my girls and I will all be going to the same place. I have been very anxious about my little girl starting Kindergarten this year, and knowing I will be in the same building has really helped to alleviate some of that.

I begin in August and will attend a four day training program in St. Paul; they bus me there, pay for a hotel room and all my meals, and then bus me home when it’s over. Then I will begin working at my “site,” which is the school I am assigned to, by getting to know the teachers; I am so grateful they let me choose to be at my daughters’ school because I already have a relationship with several of the teachers already, which should really help. When school is back in session, I will tutor fifteen to twenty kids each day, five days a week until they “graduate” the program. I am really looking forward to this position and all that I am going to learn.

I strongly encourage anyone looking for a rewarding experience working with young children to check out the Minnesota Reading Corps. They need to fill over a thousand positions before August, and there are still many spots open.

I am going to miss being at home with my little boy, but I am at the point right now where I feel like I need to do something outside the home for awhile. I have essentially been a stay-at-home mom for about eight years now, and I think a change of pace will help me be a better mom right now. It's also a huge bonus that this will greatly help me in my ambitions towards becoming a teacher. Eleven months seems like the perfect amount of time; it's long enough that I will feel like I am out in the world, but not so long that I feel I can't handle it. I like to I know that I will be home again after that time.

Thanks for sharing in my excitement J