Responsibility....

This is a poem I wrote awhile back. I was feeling like we needed a break from the fast pace of everyday life and was longing for relaxed summer months. This doesn't seem as fitting now that we have been enjoying the laid-back schedule of later bedtimes and sleeping in (if 8:30 counts as sleeping in), but it's certainly a reminder of why lazy summers are so important.

Responsibility; like a five-ton bag of bricks

 

 Hits you over the head

 

Sneaking up like mist on a lake on a cool night

 

Slowly adding up

 

Accumulating until you can hardly look out

 

From between the mass of to-do's

 

and the dont's

 

From the must's and the should's

 

From the demands and the needs

 

Until you can hardly breathe

 

Suffocating amidst the rules and the expectations

 

And discover a way to just let us be

 

To love and to laugh

 

and to finally

 

BE FREE!

An Experience of a Lifetime

 My year serving with the Minnesota Reading Corps has provided me with so many benefits that I could not have foreseen before I began this journey:

 I have gained a growing knowledge base in reading strategies from the wealth of information provided daily by my internal coach and reading specialist.

I have learned so many discipline strategies I never would have thought of; practical application is so much different than reading about them in class!

My heart has grown ten times larger! I was able to form wonderful one-on-one relationships with amazing children who have taught me so much.

 I was given the ability to pass on my love of reading; to see the growth these students have made since the beginning of the year is almost incomprehensible. What is even better is that so many have gone on to find books that they enjoy and are going out of their way to share them with me! I of course wanted to help these students get to be better readers, but more importantly, I wanted them to learn to ENJOY reading!

 The ability to meet so many diverse, yet like-minded people has been such an added bonus. I have formed so many friendships through Reading Corps that I know will last a lifetime.

 I was expecting this would be a big year for me; I was not expecting how much of an impact it would truly have in my life. This year has clarified my thoughts on the future. Before, I was sure I wanted to go into education and I was sure that I wanted to work with kids. Now, I am absolutely certain that I want to do this and that I can do this…..and also that I need to do this. There are so many students out there who need someone on their side; someone who can find their individual uniqueness and draw that out of them to help them succeed.

As the end of my year as a literacy tutor is quickly approaching, my students have begun to ask if they will get to read with me next year. With a sad heart, I tell them that no, I will not be back next year, but that another great person will take my place. Someone else who is ready to be the difference in dozens of children’s lives, willing to provide essential reading skills while remaining a bright spot in many of their days. Please take the time to consider a truly rewarding year of service with the Minnesota Reading Corps. You will change so many lives, and in the process, you will forever change your own.

 

Six Months In

Obviously the past six months have been a busy time around here. It has been a strong mixture of exhausting, guilt-ridden, freeing, fulfilling and ultimately rewarding feelings! I have barely kept my head above the water with so many challenges we have faced this year, yet somehow I've managed to extract so much happiness along the way.

I have never felt such a purpose as I have this year helping students become better readers. There have been so many moments that have caused me to pause and think this is what I'm meant to do....this is what it's all about! My goal for myself this year was to not only help kids advance their reading skills, but also to teach them to LOVE reading. There have been so many ah-ha! moments with different students who have made that shift to truly enjoy reading. There is no better feeling!

As for the challenges: I think we're finally coming out of our roughest patch....knock on wood.

Our little boy, who is 18 months old now has suffered from severe asthma; he was hospitalized six times in the past year for respiratory distress, each time for a couple nights. Looking back through his notes, his doctor averaged it out to a hospitalization every six weeks. There is nothing scarier than your precious baby not being able to get enough oxygen. Our world ceased to exist each time the skin around his ribs began to suck in. In fact, he had a partial lung collapse on two separate occasions. We grew fearful of public places and anywhere germs gathered; wiping down shopping carts, never allowing anyone over with the slightest of colds, hardly ever going anywhere. Add in that I have been working full time and along with our daughters, carrying incessant germs home from the cesspool that is school.

My little guy was also officially diagnosed with a milk allergy this year....on a 0 to 5 scale, 5 being severe, his severity rolled in at 4.96. This has led to a total shift in food shopping, food preparation, eating out and expectations. We were steamrolled at how much of our common foods contain some kind of milk ingredients. It has taken time and is still a process, but we have found some good substitutions. There is hope that he may outgrow it by the time he is 6-8 years old; we will have him tested once a year until we have a definitive answer. For now, we always carry his epi-pen and our routine involves a lot of label reading and packing safe foods anytime we go anywhere.

Finally, after his last hospitalization, we were referred to a pulminologist, a lung specialist. After listening to the cutie drinking his coconut milk he began asking a lot of questions about his gurgling sounds after eating and drinking. He felt a test to check for reflux would be a good idea. Turns out he doesn't have reflux, but he has dysphagia, which just means that he has trouble swallowing properly and he was aspirating every time he drank something. So this whole time he had been inhaling liquids into his lungs! No wonder he kept getting respiratory infections. No wonder he cried so much as a baby. No wonder he was so small. 

So now he is on a daily corticosteroid inhaler, a completely milk-free diet, and thickened liquids. After we started using the thickener, the gurgling stopped, he has gained weight, and has even gone through a cold with only nebulizer use at home. We have not visited the hospital since Thanksgiving! It is amazing the sanity that is slowly creeping its way back into our household. We still have a long way to go, but with the end of my 11-month commitment looming ever closer, it seems there is hope for us after all!

This school year has left me feeling drained yet superbly fulfilled, as both a tutor and especially as a mom. I will end this year with a bittersweet concoction of relief and sadness. I am truly going to miss my students and they will always have a special place in my heart. I am so looking forward to being home with my little man next year, and to have the ability to help in my girls' classrooms will be such a blessing! I have come to know so many amazing people over the past year that I would never have had the opportunity to know without my service with the Minnesota Reading Corps. I will forever be grateful.

End of the School Year Craziness

                It has been insanely busy around here the past couple of weeks. My oldest daughter is apparently preparing for a lifetime in the spotlight. On the 19^th, she had a performance with the acting class she was in on Saturday mornings. It was her first experience with theatre, and she received about four lines in a sweet and short show, and she rocked every single one of them! (Not biased at all, of course). Then her and her best friend decided to try out for the talent show, in which she played piano and they both sang. Surprise, surprise, they made it! So we went to that last week, and then were back again today for the 2^nd grade music program. Oh yes, and she had her piano recital on Wednesday!

                Ah, but don’t forget my other sweet little girl! She just finished her last week of preschool, and today was the last day, which involved a very special visit to the fire station. She was thrilled because she had been wondering if there were any girl firefighters, and what do you know, the firefighter leading our tour was a girl! I think Mr. Hubby and I enjoyed the tour just as much as she did, and our little guy was completely content looking at all the bright red trucks.

                The past week was also spent winding down our Girl Scout year. Last week, we took them (all 13 of them!) to the local bounce center, as was their request with their cookie earnings. You don’t often think of girls being sweaty creatures, but I was certainly proven otherwise that day. And today was the final meeting of the year. I have really enjoyed this year, and am going to miss them all over the summer. I think I am actually looking forward to next year! Hopefully I can hang on to some of that enthusiasm…

                Oh yeah, and on top of all that, my summer semester classes started up a couple of days ago. I am taking two three-credit courses, condensed into one month. It is a brutal schedule, but it gets me ahead so much faster, and when they’re over I will still have a whole month to truly enjoy the summer. I can’t wait!

PANIC

Okay….so now that I have gotten past the initial thrill of getting this wonderful position, and being accepted not only by the Minnesota Reading Corps, but from the public school staff as well, panic has officially begun to set in. How am I going to handle working full-time, taking classes part-time, be a good mom, take care of the house, keep everyone fed and clothed and fairly clean, but most of all….how am I going to leave my baby?!?!?

When I agreed to this it somehow seemed so far away; next school year. We always refer to it as “next year,” and this school year hasn’t even ended yet. But next year doesn’t seem so far away when you realize that preparation for it begins in less than three months! My little guy is still breastfeeding exclusively (thanks to a formula allergy) and is heavily dependent on Mama….as he should be. I can’t help but have this conflicting feeling of doubt nagging me about whether or not I am doing the right thing.

Yet I know that I not only want to do this, but essentially I need it as well. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s more than I’m making now (nothing), and I could really use a confidence booster. This is something I can feel really proud of and it is certainly worthwhile. I also know that my husband and I cannot do the opposite shift thing again; it’s so hard on our relationship! I just hope that I can come to terms with the guilt before too long. I just need to figure out our daycare situation and have everything set up to the utmost degree of certainty before my start date looms much closer. Hopefully then I will feel prepared.

But even despite all this heavy guilt (and fear), I still feel twinges of excitement when I think of the year to come….wish me luck!

Exciting News

 I am very excited to announce that I will be working, or rather volunteering, as a literacy tutor for the Minnesota Reading Corps this coming school year! This is such an amazing opportunity that I just kind of stumbled upon…apparently that is how I find my best positions. I will be working one-on-one with Kindergarten through third-graders on their reading skills to help get them up to grade level. It is called a volunteer position, but there are so many great benefits; a living stipend to help with bills, tuition reimbursement at the end of the term, which is 11 months, and I also qualify for daycare assistance so I don’t have to worry about that! On top of all these wonderful bonuses, I will be at the same school my daughters are at!  So every day when I go to work, my girls and I will all be going to the same place. I have been very anxious about my little girl starting Kindergarten this year, and knowing I will be in the same building has really helped to alleviate some of that.

I begin in August and will attend a four day training program in St. Paul; they bus me there, pay for a hotel room and all my meals, and then bus me home when it’s over. Then I will begin working at my “site,” which is the school I am assigned to, by getting to know the teachers; I am so grateful they let me choose to be at my daughters’ school because I already have a relationship with several of the teachers already, which should really help. When school is back in session, I will tutor fifteen to twenty kids each day, five days a week until they “graduate” the program. I am really looking forward to this position and all that I am going to learn.

I strongly encourage anyone looking for a rewarding experience working with young children to check out the Minnesota Reading Corps. They need to fill over a thousand positions before August, and there are still many spots open.

I am going to miss being at home with my little boy, but I am at the point right now where I feel like I need to do something outside the home for awhile. I have essentially been a stay-at-home mom for about eight years now, and I think a change of pace will help me be a better mom right now. It's also a huge bonus that this will greatly help me in my ambitions towards becoming a teacher. Eleven months seems like the perfect amount of time; it's long enough that I will feel like I am out in the world, but not so long that I feel I can't handle it. I like to I know that I will be home again after that time.

Thanks for sharing in my excitement J

Cookies........to......Veggies!

Cookie season is finally over and passed, and between the kids and my husband, our cookie tally ended up at $70….that’s TWENTY boxes of cookies!! (I will not take too much blame here, except for the simple fact of storing them in my house…bad idea!) Albeit, that is $70 of delicious, only once-a-year goodness, but I think we’ve had our fill of sweets for the remainder of the year.

Thankfully, it seems that everyone’s sweet tooth is wearing out; perhaps I’ve discovered the secret to cutting back on junk….let them eat all of it until they get sick of it. (!)


Despite this great observation, I have noticed an increasing trend of junk food around our house and it is driving me CRAZY. I have made a conscious effort to not buy as much junky snacks because if it’s in the house, that is all, and I mean ALL that my four year old can think about. Last time we were at the store together, I even went out of my way to tell her that we wouldn’t be having chips and fruit snacks in the house so often and I wouldn’t be buying them this time. Of course, later that evening when my husband made a quick run to the store for a missing dinner ingredient and she tagged along, he bought her a bag of chips and a box of fruit snacks at her request…….ARRGH!

 I am extremely thrilled that we signed up for a CSA share this year! CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture, and you pay up front for a growing season’s worth of vegetables. Once a week for twenty weeks starting in June, we will receive a big “mystery box” of veggies; that’s how we’ve been selling it to the girls anyway and so far they are very excited about what might be in there and all the new ones we’ll get to try. A great thing about the farm we chose is the strawberry social, where CSA members can come and check out the farm, see where their food comes from, and pick their own strawberries. It should be good for the kids to see that our food doesn’t just magically appear at the grocery store for us to put into our carts and then our cupboards. Living in a townhome in a city hasn’t given them too much exposure to gardening in general, so I am ecstatic about this experience. Especially since we’ll have so many vegetables we’ll HAVE to start eating better. I suppose we could really start now, but it looks like we’re waiting until June.